What is the reason for our being in the world? What would we do if there is no such reason?
Many people suffer from “existential angst” at some point in their lives. If someone never does, I would be seriously really jealous. If you ever read the bestselling book Homo Sapiens of Yuval Noah Harari, you may recognise that some parts of the book do suggest something pretty appalling: human lives perhaps do not have a particular meaning.
I was shocked! I was disappointed — even though I loved the book to the core.
I’m not religious per se, but just like many people I simply like the idea of my life serving some kind of meaning or purposes, whatever it is. I like the idea that we are here for a special reason. If we are not here for a reason, then what should we do to still feel meaningful in life?
#1. The fear of meaninglessness
The lack of perceived meaning in life may make one confused, unsatisfied, anxious and even depressed. It makes us question if we are “doing” life the right way. It leaves us with an empty feeling inside which we often try to fill somehow with external things, maybe material wealth, career achievement, entertainment, indudgement and even addiction. At the other extreme, some people give in to the meaninglessness and let ourselves pass through life like a helpless tree trunk flowing with the current.
Some people think of life as a journey, but when we start realising that there is no destination for that journey to be found, we are simply lost in that journey. We are disappointed once we arrive at the next point in that journey, and found that it is still not a “true” destination after all. What is the point then — you might think —of all the time you have spent and the suffering you have had on that journey. Is it simply for nothing?
#2. What causes us to feel the lack of meaning?
While we don’t know for sure if our lives have an objective meaning, here are some popular mindsets that often make us feel our lives lack subjective meaning:
- We need to obtain perfection/ excellence/ rare and difficult achievements in order to have a meaningful life.
This perfectionist way of thinking can easily make us fail to see the worth in the nonperfect. Just like a student who receives a 98 feel that they failed. Just like someone who doesn’t paint like Van Gogh feels they should give up painting altogether. Or someone who is not a bestselling author had better stop writing altogether. This thinking on the one hand may drive us to achieve difficult things in life. On the other hand, it can make someone feel constantly unsatisfied even when they have achieved good, if not already great results. In other words, in the search for the perfect, we often neglect and fail to find satisfaction in the good. We may or may not achieve really grandiose things in life, but failing to recognise the good things is for sure a recipe for unfulfillment, dissatisfaction and eventually, meaninglessness.
Sometimes (if not most of the time), it’s better not to live as if you’re in a race and that you always have to win the Gold medal.
2. We will be dead anyway, thus our lives are meaningless.
Sooner or later we will all eventually face the annihilation of our body and everything we achieve and do. Some believe that if one day we will no longer exist in this world and everything will eventually be gone, then our lives must be meaningless. I’m not sure if the afterlife or reincarnation or heaven or hell are real, if they are not, then we have a little trouble here.
Iddo Landau argues in his book that while death indeed diminishes the meaning of life, it does not necessarily make our lives worthless. Why? Because a finite life may still have substantial and sufficient value, even if it’s temporal. According to his argument: Meaning = Value. If our life contains sufficient value, then it also has sufficient meaning.
In my view, a finite, meaning life could be a life in which, for example, one was decent and truthful to oneself and others most of the time and had a close and warm relationship with one or two people; or managed, through effort, wisdom, patience, and luck to create a loving relationship with one’s spouse… or knew how to enjoy the great beauty of the trees growing on the sides of the street; or helped other people… True, the decency, truthfulness, warm relationships, joy, helpfulness, and so on will eventually pass away. One day they will no longer exist. But that does not make them worthless. — Iddo Landau
While we accept the transient and finite nature of all aspects of our lives, there are many things that can help us increase the value and meaning in our lives (I will discuss the how later). Thus, as the Landau puts it, the equal ending of our lives (deaths and annihilation) does not mean that all experiences and lives are equal.
3. “To witness with the whole of space and time in its view, nothing on the human scale will have meaning” — Simon Blackburn.
This is another argument that suggests when putting life in the context of the cosmos, life seems vanishingly small, ineffectual, insufficient and thus meaningless. Indeed most of the universe is not affected at all by our existence or actions. Looking up on the stars in a clear beautiful night, you may have the feeling that we are so tiny and ineffectual on the whole universe. While this is true, it may be an unnecessary standard for a meaningful life. Just like a good piece of art or music is sufficient and meaningful in itself without much effect it has on the cosmos at large. You may have no interest in moving a rock on Neptune, and much of the Earth or cosmos would be happy without being affected by you anyway. The lack of influence you have on Earth and on the cosmos doesn’t mean your life is worthless.
4. Once we have achieved something, we often feel emptiness and the goal seems to be of little worth.
In this world there are only two tragedies. One is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it. The last is a real tragedy!
— Oscar Wilde
This is a paradox that perhaps everyone faces sometimes in life. But it’s not true that the worth or meaning of all our achievements disappeared once they are obtained, even though their value may get smaller over time. If I think back into my teenage and early adulthood, my hard work and achievements back then really set a good foundation for who I am now, even if their value seem smaller now than they were 10 years ago. Iddo Landau also offers another interesting view: several goals (often the most important ones) are not something to be “done and over” with. Just like being a good loving partner will continue to be worthy and meaningful, even if you already are. Being a good scientist with lots of contribution will continue to be worthy no matter how much you have achieved.
5. Life is meaningless because there is so much pain and suffering
When facing great loss, we tend to think that our lives are not worth living because it is full of disappointment, hardship and suffering. Some people face unprecedented loss and suffering in life. However, we can’t deny that we also experience enjoyment and happiness too. Sometimes suffering is more than happiness and sometimes the other way around. They seem to be the two faces of a coin. Just as Thich Nhat Hanh puts it, “No mud, no lotus”. Therefore, it is not necessary to think of our lives being worthless because of the suffering we have.
6. You do not know what is would make your life meaningful
Yes, it is a very common reason and ironically applies to everyone, not only to young people. A few months ago I attended a workshop called Search Inside Yourself at work, which was developed by Google and meant to help people be more mindful and feel more fulfilled at corporates. One of the exercises was to list out what you value the most and what activities you can add into your work to make it more meaningful to you. A colleague of mine who was in her 60s was completely lost in this exercise, because she didn’t know what she actually found meaningful and wanted to engage in. It was very surprising to me, as I always think to myself that by the time I turn 60, I must have already “figured” this stuff out. But this may be not true at all.
I cited a few ideas in the sections below which might give you a direction on this.
#3. The goal of life
- For what reasons are we here in the world?
- Why are we alive?
- What are we created for?
Setting aside all the religious believes about the goal of human lives (e.g. to go to Heaven and serve God), they are particularly hard questions to answer. One way to reply to these questions is to find such a reason, it could be to help people, to serve God etc.
But another option is to deny that we are created for any particular reason, as Iddo Landau suggested in his book Finding Meaning in an Imperfect World. Ironically, it seems to be the most satisfactory answer to this question. The book suggests that the presuppositions that we are here for a reasons may be wrong. And if they are wrong questions to ask, there is no need to find their answers because they do not matter anymore.
The author goes on to argue that we do not have to be here for a reason in order to have a meaningful life. We may not be created for anything, but life itself is the reason for living, the reason for which we were created. Our lives may not be the means to something, but may be the end itself.
We are alive in order to have a good, meaningful life.
— Iddo Landau
#4. How to identify and increase meaning
Many dedicate more thought in one evening to deliberating which restaurant or film they should go to than they do in their entire lifetime to deliberating what would make their lives more meaningful.
— Iddo Landau
Landau offers a few questions in his book that may help identify what’s meaningful:
- What would make your life more valuable or meaningful?
I found this questions a bit too obvious and general, since what’s valuable depends on what values are important to you. To me, I would perhaps ask myself: What would make me feel fulfilled, happy, creative and truthful?
2. Which elements in your life do you already take to be meaningful?
You should definitely increase these elements or keep an optimal amount of these elements to maximize your life meaning.
3. What should be removed from your life in order to make it more meaningful?
Apart of adopting new things, stop doing something can also help maximize your life meaning. For example, if you deem social media to add very little value in your life, then try to reduce the time you spend on it.
4. What characteristics in other people lead you to consider them as having meaningful lives? What do you respect and appreciate in others?
This is another cue. If you admire and respect people with great intellectual abilities or artistic skills, then you can learn that knowledge or artistic ability is something you value. Among many people I respect and admire are Steve Jobs, Elon Musk, Einstein, Van Gogh, Rembrandt. They all stand for what I value — knowledge, vision, courage and creativity. That gives me powerful ideas on what I really value.
5. What has worked for others? What do various traditions see as meaningful? Could those things be meaningful to you as well?
Learning from collective wisdom and see what others have found to be meaningful may give you some ideas of what are meaningful to you as well.
6. The first deathbed question: Suppose that you were on your deathbed, and that you had the presence of mind and the time to look back on your life. What would you be happy or sorry to have done and not to have done?
7. The second deathbed question: Suppose that you knew that you had only ten more days, or six more months, to live. What would you decide to do in that time?
With these questions, I hope you can start increasing your life meaning even if it is not for a particular reason (how ironic but liberating it is!). We are simply worthy of ourselves rather than serving an end that is outside us.
